Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Heal your Chakras before expelling bowels while consptipated

We have all been this route, yes? With much pains, pushing and pushing to no healing of the bowel stoppage.

Well, you have not been paying attention to your Chakras, my friend!

Above look. You are missing the health of your "just above anus" Chakra. This eliminates bad spirits from all the above Chakras. When "just above anus" Chakra gets angry, he blocks the walls of life. What is a spirit warrior such as yourself to do? Constantly seek spiritual oneness with two fingers.

Stick inside your anus and make three thrusts. Soon your "just above anus" Chakra will get delighted. But do not make more than three thrusts with vigor. Too many thrusts can give "just above anus" Chakra concussion. After three thrusts, you must swirl around your fingers and imagine you are filling a cone of soft serve. Soon your "just above anus" Chakra will feel great and decide to open up your bowels for indefinite amount of time. 

Do this at least once a week. Otherwise "just above anus" Chakra will tell "above/behind genitals" Chakra and that Chakra talks a lot. Soon all your Chakras will be in disorder and rebellion and you do not have enough fingers to please them all!


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